Do Good Things Come To Girls Who Wait?

Not necessarily and here is why. From a young age girls are told to respect themselves and only give themselves up for the “right” man. Yet, I don’t believe that this will necessarily enable a woman to find a good man to settle down with any sooner. While society encourages men to explore their sexuality, women are expected to control theirs. That is, while men can get into casual relationships, without being criticized, the same is often not the case for women. This double-standard may leave women who choose to be in casual relationships feeling guilty.

In addition to this gender inequality, women are basically bombarded with messages that if they have any self-respect they will wait for Mr. Right. But there’s nothing inherently wrong with a woman who dates men who she knows she's not interested being with in the long-term. If she chooses to casually date in her 20s, for example, and only settle down with a guy later in life, that’s ok! Besides, just because a woman chooses to take part in casual relationships, it doesn’t mean that she’s any farther away from finding a marriage partner than is a woman who chooses to hold off sex until she’s in love or feels like she found Mister Right. In fact, it can be argued that in allowing themselves to experiment with their sexuality by casually dating, some women will find Mister Right sooner than some other women who only get into serious relationships, as the former have a bigger picture of what they are looking for in a partner, both sexually and non-sexually.

Further, just because a woman doesn’t wait to fall in love to have sex, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have high standards/boundaries and vice-versa. On the contrary, the opposite could be argued, in that, some women actually learn what their standards/boundaries are by allowing themselves to explore their sexuality. What really matters is that a woman has standards/boundaries and is assertive enough to stand by them. However, being assertive doesn’t come easy to all people. For those women who aren’t assertive, practicing doing so with several men they casually date can be more effective than practicing on fewer guys that they get into serious relationships with.

To conclude, waiting to date Mister Right doesn’t necessarily entail that a woman will have a happier and healthier relationship outcome. Further, just like men are able to explore their sexuality without societal repercussions, so should women. The nature of the relationship a woman chooses to get into (casual, serious, etc.) isn’t what determines whether or not she has standards/boundaries and self-respect. What matters is that she’s assertive enough to stand by her values and standards/boundaries, something that can be practiced by having several casual relationships and which will help her find the man of her dreams all the sooner.