On Letting Go

No one wants their heart broken and most people don't enjoy breaking hearts either. It's difficult to let go of someone you trusted, opened yourself up to and shared intimate details with. Also, the thought of having to go through all that again with someone else can be very scary. So we tend to stay longer than we should in relationships with people who aren't right for us. Yet, letting go is crucial for getting us closer to the right person.

Ask yourself this: would you rather be alone or with someone but feel alone? Let me explain. Would you rather use the time that you're single to focus on improving yourself, advancing in your life and discovering yourself? Or would you rather be with someone for the mere reason of not being alone but feel detached from he/she? Of course, neither option is ideal but these are the two options we are sometimes faced with.

Staying with someone who you fell out of love or were never in love with isn't a good feeling. The constant turmoil within you for not knowing how/when to end things and the turmoil between you and your partner keeps on building. The greater the buildup of negative feelings, the more likely things are to end bad. Negative feelings towards your partner don't just go away with the flick of your fingers. Instead, they can subside if you face them. Facing your feelings means acknowledging you have them and dealing with them accordingly. Sometimes the best way to heal is removing yourself from the unhealthy relationship. So if you know you've given your partner many chances and nothing has changed, it's probably time to move on.

Instead of focusing all your energy on the wrong person, save it for the right one. All that time that you're stuck in a relationship in which you're unhappy, you're expending your energy on disagreements between you and your partner, on your misery and on false hope for things to somehow work out. Relationships take a lot of energy and hard work so why not spend it on someone who you actually like?

The more time you invest in a relationship which doesn't feel right to you, the more energy you expend on the wrong person. And perhaps the more time you'll need to recuperate. So as hard as it may be, once you see that things are not improving in your relationship, it's best to get out of it immediately. The longer you wait to get out, the harder it'll be when you finally do. Being with someone is something most of us desire but "someone" does not mean anyone.