When is the right time to kiss/be intimate with the guy you are dating? Even if the guy gives you as much time as you need, should you still wait a minimum (or maximum) amount of time? The answer is not as straightforward as it seems and in the following post, you'll see why.
You go out for coffee with a guy and you hit it off. You two end up talking for hours and at the end of the date, the guy says he'd like to see you again. You end up meeting again a few days later and as last time, things go really well. With the hours flying by, you feel more and more attracted to the guy. Then you have a special moment... and he leans in for the kiss. What do you do? Or, what would you like to do? Kiss him, as you feel a connection and you want to seize the moment? Or gently turn away because you feel it's too soon?
After having taken a break from dating and made a decision to only get physical with a guy if I really like him, I'm struggling to find a balance between going with the flow and being aware and mindful of my dating choices. I've done so much reflection to the point of overthinking things and in a sense trying to control and perfect every little detail related to dating: how much do I have to like the guy to kiss him, will I ever feel ready to take things to a physical level or is it just a matter of getting comfortable with the guy once I become physical? I mean my goal isn't to be in love before I get physical with a guy. However, I want something that'll last and I want to be in a healthy, caring relationship.
I wish I could stop myself from overthinking love but I feel helpless. I've rationalized something that isn't rational. I've become obsessed with making the "right" choice, as to not get hurt once again. Even to the point of being in constant "beware of jerks" motion, trying to stop myself from falling for another jerk. I do this by comparing actions of current guys to guys from my past, trying to find similar patterns. This only makes me more judgmental of the guys I'm getting to know, causing me to trust less, which goes hand in hand with loneliness. I feel helpless getting out of this tangled mess. I want to trust. I want to love and most of all I want to be free of these restraints...The question is how?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? Let me know in the comments/ask for advice section
2 comments:
I totally get it. It's a tough call to make. We want to make the right choices, but not over think love at the same time. My one advice would be to listen to your heart, and more importantly, to listen to your body. Our body gives us signs if we are ready or not. If you feel comfortable and ready you will know.... At least that's how I feel. If you are unsure and you get feelings of discomfort, etc that probably means that you're not.
Right but what if you're ready but feel anxious? It can be hard to distinguish between being ready but anxious and anxious because you aren't ready.
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