Can You Change A Man?

No. You can only motivate him to do so.

It's a huge and common mistake to think that a woman can change a man. Yet, you can only motivate him to change on his own. And even if a guy takes it upon himself to change, he'll only change so much. That is, certain behaviors and character traits stick with us forever. So, if you are planning to turn a man into your next project, make sure to only focus on those aspects where change is possible.

You may wonder what character traits can I and can't I change in a man? This is a complicated question and it's answer varies according to the individual. But I'll tell you this: if he's always cheating on you, despite how many times you've caught him, he most likely won't stop. Yet, something that he can improve on is his listening skills.

Remember, if he doesn't care about your feelings, he doesn't care about you. If he doesn't care about you, he won't see a reason to commit to you. If he does tell you he cares about you, have him show it on a consistent basis. For you this might mean calling you daily. Whatever it is, make sure his actions back up his words. A guy who truly cares about you, will do whatever it takes to make you happy. He'll want to work on himself to be the best man that he can be. If he cares about you, he'll put in the effort to maintain a healthy relationship with you. This doesn't include avoiding confrontation at all costs. I've had guys ignore my texts and end conversations, as soon as I brought up something hurtful they did/said or something they do that bothers me. Another way men try to avoid confrontation is by telling you something only because they think you want to hear it... Obviously, these guys don't care (despite the claims of one of these men I was dating that he does care about me!). If he truly cares about you, he'll keep on doing the things you like and work on what you don't.

Things can get very tricky when it comes to sex. It's not uncommon that a girl isn't on the same page sexually with the guy she's dating. This can only be resolved through communication. But the point I'm trying to make here is that there's a myth that a woman can get a man to commit through sex. If only she makes sure the sex is amazing or if she messes with his head, sometimes making herself seem interested in him and sometimes not, in hopes of making him desire her more. Or...let's not even go there. If a man only ever invites you for sex, it's very unlikely that it'll ever become something more. Girl, he has your contact info. If he wants to tell you how much he loves you, he knows where to reach you.

Don't convince yourself that you can mold him into the man you want him to be. If he trusts you he'll let you help him be a better man. But let him take the initiative.