While being in a relationship is great, being single is great too! This article isn't meant to discourage people in relationships but just to boost the morale of sappy singles. I know, you're probably thinking what good is there in being single? Well, let me tell you:
1. You get to focus on you. A sizable portion of your life will be dedicated to others, aka marriage, motherhood/fatherhood, caring for your elderly parents, etc. That is, in these periods of peoples' lives, people tend to devote their time and energy to taking care of others. So you better enjoy your single status while it lasts!
2. You get to focus on other important aspects of your life. Of
course, the relational aspect of your life is important but so is your
education, career/goals and hobbies. You need to develop various aspects
of your life, in order to live a full, healthy and happy one. Also,
doing so will allow you to derive meaning from multiple avenues. So
focus on becoming a great therapist, for example.
3. You get to have an identity of your own. It's easy to lose yourself in your partnership. It's not uncommon to see couples who are in love spending all their time together, without realizing it's unhealthy. It's important that partners have a nice balance between spending time together and alone (the balance varies depending on the different needs of couples). Nevertheless, each partner should have some separate interests and some different friends. Living in a lovey-dovey bubble with one's partner, removed from the world is unhealthy. Yet, it's easy do get trapped in this bubble when one is in love. One problem with the bubble is that when it's burst, aka, you break up, you don't have an identity/people to fall back on. So don't get caught in the bubble!
4. You get to strengthen your weaknesses. In order to be in a healthy long-term relationship, both partners must put in the effort. Yet, one must work on oneself before attempting to work through the difficulties in a relationship. Being single allows you to work on yourself so that you can be a better partner. For example, it's important for someone with low self-esteem to work through it because if not it can cause major trust issues, jealousy, paranoia, etc. As they say, you must love yourself first before loving someone else.
5. You will less likely give up on love quickly out of fear of getting hurt yet again. While there are many ups in a relationship, there are also many downs. It's easy to focus on the downs, especially if you are a pessimist like myself. An important element of being in a relationship is making yourself vulnerable. Thing is every time you make yourself vulnerable, you are at risk of getting hurt, sometimes badly. While being able to make yourself vulnerable is a great thing, it's also great to take a break from putting yourself in that position. Who doesn't want a break from the fighting, the hurtful words and the inconsiderate actions of one's partner, so imminent in all "normal" relationships?
6. Being single for a while will help make you more appreciative of your partner when he/she comes into your life. It's easy to take our loved ones for granted and to forget to show them appreciation. When you're made to wait a while, especially a really long while for the right person to come into your life, you become all the more grateful for having him/her in your life when they are a part of it. And this will only strengthen your relationship and create a stronger foundation.
7. You have more time to figure out what you want in a partner, hence making you less likely to end up with the wrong person. I'm not saying that if you marry your high-school sweetheart you have made a mistake. What I'm saying is that it takes time for most people to find their soul-mate. Single-hood is a good time to contemplate what you are looking for in a partner/adjust your expectations, whether or not you have been taking the right steps to attract people who emulate this characterization and whether or not you will need to change your behavior, or parts of it in order to find him/her. For example, upon reflection you might decide that you need to work on your listening skills. Not only do you get to contemplate on all that, you get to act upon it too! The sooner you know what you want in a partner, the sooner you can settle down and be happy.
My words of wisdom: Take your time. Figure yourself out first. Settle down slowly. Live and love!
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