I have a very special gift…attracting players. I know
what you are probably thinking: that’s the kind of guy I’m into, or I just try
to “fix” these guys and end up getting hurt or worse, that I must have low
self-esteem to think I can’t do better. But that’s not the reality. The reality
is I just always seem to end up in messy situations with guys (we’ll get to
that eventually). And normally I terminate things with players early into the relationship but
there is still the residual pain.
I will admit that there is something appealing about players
but is it too much to ask for a guy who is charming, cute and respectful of me?
Like just because I am not looking for a serious relationship, it doesn’t mean
that I am saying yes to being mistreated! I’ve come to a point in my life,
where at 23 years old, I’m used to crossing paths with these guys to the point
where my view of men is skewed. Yet I try to stay positive and remind myself
that from every situation we come out of, there is something we can learn. Yes,
it’s hard to remember that when you are pitying yourself for attracting yet
another jerk but you must move on for your well-being.
So here are some of the things I have learnt so far:
- I am not attracting the wrong type of guy, but the wrong guys within my type. The difference lies in the individual guy, rather than the “category” of guy. That is, if one was to divide different personality types into categories, “charming/flirtatious” would be the title of one of these. Yes, I am saying that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to this category of guys. The problem lies with SOME of the guys within the “charming/flirtatious” category, who are players. And the players are the guys who play with your head and/or heart and who don’t respect your needs and boundaries. Basically, you can still find the traits that consistently attracts you in these jerks, but in guys who respect you and cherish you. So think to yourself, what do I like about these guys? Whether it’s their charm, their confidence, their adventurousness, etc. just find it in guys who use these traits in a positive way!
- Not to show players how much they have hurt you. This will only cause them to think that you are too emotional, too dramatic and they might tell you the much hated “calm down, you are overreacting”. Players don’t want to invest in your emotions (or in their own for that matter). Instead, call someone you trust and let your emotions flow with them, they can give you the support and respect you deserve, not these jerks. What you should do is ignore these guys or keep them in your life without getting close. I for one am straightforward so I call guys out when they have wronged me, but I keep it brief and focus on moving on. What you choose to do really depends on the specific situation and on your personality/what you can manage. Here are two things that might happen: the players will either be more interested in you or they’ll just leave you alone and move on too. But please do not attempt to change these guys…It is not your job!
NEXT UP: how to
avoid attracting players in the first place...
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