Thursday, October 20, 2016

"Blind" Dating

So you've been talking to this person on an online dating app for a very short period of time when just like that he/she asks you out for drinks. Would you agree to the date?

Let's assume you chose to go out with this person. All you know about him/her is some basic information (age, sex, height, etc.) and that he/she is cute. But why not figure out if you connect/like each other when you speak, before accepting a date? I once accepted a date with a guy I met online that I barely chatted with only to later have him tell me that we have nothing in common. Had he actually gotten to know me a little better he would've been able to figure that out before investing time, energy and money on our date.

"Hold on Faigy", you might say. "What if it's just a casual encounter?" Well, there's still safety to consider (knowing someone even a bit makes it easier to tell if he/she is trustworthy) and just because a person is sexy it doesn't mean that his/her stupidity, for example, won't turn you off. However, I'm not saying that going on a date with someone you barely know is a bad idea. I'm just saying that if you choose to do so the things mentioned are worth considering.

Now what if you met the person briefly in real life, barely spoke after that and soon after he/she asks you out online or via text (point being not face to face or by phone)? Does that change things much if at all? If you've spoken for a long enough time and are still interested, make the move. But for me, asking someone out after only a handshake and some very brief chit chat, is premature. Talk to the person. Get to know them. Make them want to take it from behind the screen to the comfy sofas at the coffee shop.

Additionally, asking someone out after only some occasional chit chat, makes one seem desperate or/and motivated by something superficial, such as looks. If you want something superficial then that's fine. But it's unsettling if you are looking for a serious relationship and a person just asks you out after knowing what you look like and some very basic information about you. While it's true that people don't normally go into a date knowing everything about the other person (unless it's a case of a friendship gone romantic, for example), don't you still want to make sure that you connect with the other person?

What do you think?

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