Why Break-Ups Can Be A Good Thing

Breaking up is hard. Whether you're the one who ended the relationship or were broken up with, it's a difficult position to be in. This may lead to the feeling of loss and hopelessness. But if dealt with correctly, loss and hopelessness can lead to growth. While the break-up is still fresh, terms like "growth" are probably the last things you want to hear. And that is OK. Don't hold back tears. You can grieve the loss for some time, if that's what you need. But remind yourself that if you deal with the grief and other emotions that come with break-ups appropriately, a positive outcome will emerge. That is, there's something to be learnt from every experience. Learning leads to growth. And growth allows you to become a better you, whatever that "you" consists of.

While each individual has their unique process for dealing with grief, only some behaviors are healthy. This doesn't include trying to attack your ex's character by spreading nasty rumors about him/her. Or getting involved with many men/women who you don't actually care about, just to get over your ex. Instead of focusing so much on your ex, focus on yourself. That is, now that you're single, take the time to try new things (join a dance class, learn a new language, go bungee jumping, etc) and focus on other aspects of your life, like work/school. Also, focus on your other relationships, with friends and family. Further, accept the fact that things and people change. Change is hard because it involves loss. That is, loss of the way things used to be. But we as humans have this amazing ability to adapt to new situations.

So how can you adapt to your new single situation? Different individuals adapt differently. Some of the methods previously suggested included trying out new activities and focusing on your other relationships. Remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to have fun, despite your circumstances. Don't let regret reduce you to self-pity, depression or any such emotions. If you need to talk to someone, do it as soon as possible. Because repression can be disastrous. It's best to get all the negative emotions out first, deal with them in a healthy way and only then move on. Moving on doesn't mean you must forget what happened. It just requires you to "deal" with your situation in a healthy manner and make a decision to no longer hold on to the negative emotions tied with it, such as pain, anger and regret. It means choosing to love yourself and grow from this experience, instead.