It was the Jewish New Year this week; a time of reflection and renewal. Also the time to make meaningful and reasonable resolutions. Being the analytical-minded person that I am, I'm constantly reflecting on my life. However, this week was exceptionally emotional, as I did so much reflecting on various aspects of my life, including my dating life.
In thinking about my past relationships, I realized that they were filled with so much drama and pain. And that the only way that can change is if I do things differently. That is, I will keep on finding myself stuck in the same old situations with the same type of guys, if I don't actively change my dating behaviors.
Despite all the heartache, good things came out of my negative dating experiences, such as having gained knowledge on what I'm not looking for in a man. While I'm still conflicted about what I do want in a man, it helps knowing what I don't. I'm tired of dealing with players, men who don't actually care about me, men who don't validate my feelings, etc, etc, etc.
As requested, I will attempt to date differently and share what I learnt from these new experiences. In doing so, I'm hoping to have healthier relationships and to learn together with you valuable lessons on relationships. I also want to see if I can change the troublesome outcomes that come out of my relationships. Will I stop constantly attracting players, in dating differently? Will I start attracting men who care about my feelings? In short, I want to see how much control we have in the types of men we attract. This isn't as straightforward as it seems because behavior isn't an easy thing to change. It's not like I can say "Since I attract so many players, all I have to do is wait until the relationship is serious to have sex with a guy." It takes a fresh perspective and a lot of motivation to change one's behavior. And in doing a lot of reflection, I've decided that I want to place myself in the shoes of someone with a different perspective on dating.
So, this New Year I made a resolution to not get physically involved with a guy until we get to know each other really well and see that we both truly care about each other. Will I be happier and more satisfied in such relationships? Have I been consistently doing something wrong to attract the "wrong" men? To find out, please follow my journey here on my blog.
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