As requested, I asked men to give me tips on how
a girl can know that a guy is interested in her. Here is what they said:
It’s complicated. Love is not
straightforward and so it’s not always easy to tell that a guy is interested in
you. Guys don’t always know how to express their interest in a girl and the
reasons vary: nervousness, fear of rejection, shyness, feeling that they are
not good enough for the girl, etc. Fear of rejection keeps many men from
pursuing a love interest. It’s easy to think that guys are supposed to be “the
man” in the situation and ask the girl out, without fearing rejection. But men
are humans too and just like girls they don’t want to face the consequences of
being rejected. Also, a guy’s actions might contradict what you expect from a
guy that’s into you. For example: while some guys will engage in conversation
with you, other guys might avoid you or act weird around you. Similarly, while
some men will waste no time in asking you out, other men will take some time. Love
makes us act in strange ways. So don’t jump to conclusions! Be patient and time
will tell…
Verbal Communication. A guy who is interested
in you will engage in conversation with you and ask follow-up questions, as to
keep the conversation flowing and smooth. He will ask you for your opinions on
things, about yourself, what your interests are and will listen to what you
have to say.
Non-verbal communication. Body language is a non-verbal
way for a guy to show interest in you. For example, he acts nervous and shy
around you. Or, he acts differently around you than he does around his
friends. Also, a guy who is interested in you will try and steal glances of
you. He’ll touch you occasionally in a friendly, non-invasive way, which is a
way of telling you he wants to be close to you. In fact, it may be hard for
some guys to verbally express their feelings to you and so they might gently
reach for your hand instead, while you happen to be engaged in a nice
conversation.
He puts in a lot of time and energy to show you
he cares about you. The guy makes an effort to spend time with you and cherishes the
moments you share. If he doesn’t put in
the time then he’s just not that into you. If he’s interested in you, he’ll
concern himself with your needs, even placing yours before his and he’ll treat
you with the respect and dignity you deserve. While many girls are attracted to
bad or “bad” boys, myself included, a guy who likes you will be nice to
you.
He makes an effort to get along with your friends. Good friends have each
other’s backs and it’s important in any healthy relationship that your partner
gets along with your friends. When a girl really likes a guy she normally wants
her friends to like him too. This means that a guy who is interested in you
will try and get the thumbs up from your friends. If your friends like him,
they will support your relationship with him. If he is really nice to your friends
he is probably really into you.
He tries to impress you. Not only will he show you
off to everybody (even if this means introducing you as a friend for the time
being), he will also try to impress you. Yes, he might want to impress you with
how successful he is in life but also with things that emphasize his caring and
nurturing character. This includes telling you about all his volunteer
experiences and how much he loves kids. Further, simple acts of kindness can go
a long way. For example, always making himself available to help you with
whatever you need. Another way of
impressing you would be through humor. Many women find humor to be very
attractive. A guy who is truly interested in you will want to do whatever he
can to make you happy!
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Thanks to the following men for their
participation in this article (their initials): B-H, BI, DR, JB, MC, MS, MZ, NC,
QH, YB
5 comments:
Again great article Faigy! However, I have a question maybe you can have an idea.
How do you get a girl to like you again after you screwed it up?
Thank you! As to your question, the first step to getting a girl back is gaining her trust again. If you can do that, you have a pretty decent shot at getting her back. And once you got her trust, you have to sweep her off her feet. Put in some extra effort, as you already let her down. Give her reason to beleive that you are worth getting another chance. Since you already know her, you have a better idea of what she likes. Finally, make sure you find an appropriate time where you could discuss your relationship. Focus on what she needs you to do differently and implement the changes. Just keep in mind that all this depends on HER choice to give u another chance. If she does say no to that, respect her decision, learn from your mistakes and move on...
Well answered, I appreciate you taking the time to answer me Faigy. Thank you :)
Hey Faigy,
Great article again.
I just have one question for you...
A very good friend of mine is acting exactly like everything you described in your article. Now, I know you always say that men and women cannot be friends but trust me, we are - and I have to say that I wouldn't be against the idea to change that.
So why would he act like that? Why would he care so much about my life, and friends, and all? Why would he call me all the time?
Do you think I could just make things up in my own head?
Actually, Mimi asked me if men and women could be friends and I didn't exactly say no. You should go have a look on the discussion forum to see my answer! As to your questions, first thing I want to say is NO you aren't making things up in your head. If this guy is indeed doing all those things I described in my article, something is wrong on his end. If you did express your romantic feelings to this guy and he told you he just wants to be friends, he is not being fair leading you on like this. The reasons why he does act like this may vary. Maybe he does have feelings for you but there's something holding him back from expressing them (it all depends on the particular friendship you two have and on his particular situation). Or, he could just be playing you. Or, maybe he is just really bad at expressing himself.
My advice is that after you express your feelings for him, see if he reciprocates them or not. If he doesn't, tell him how it makes you feel when he does all that stuff and how it's misleading. If he's your true friend, he'll listen to you and try to no longer mislead you. Good luck!
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