Women Tell All: What Women Love In A Man And What They Hate

Listen closely men because in the following article I will tell you what women told me they love most and what they hate most that a guy does in the early stages of dating/when getting to know him.

Women love it when you...

Respect her. Respect her boundaries, treat her with dignity and don’t objectify her. For example, don’t pressure her into sex. Also, respect her needs. So, if she needs some space give it to her.

Have good/intellectual conversation with her. Keep her intrigued by showing her that you are intelligent and knowledgeable. Be sure to find out what she likes and dislikes. Listening to her and asking questions will show her you care about what she has to say. It’s important that you respect her opinions and beliefs, which will make her feel accepted by you. Also, be open and make her laugh to put her at ease. Remember, you should both be taking the role of talker and listener.

Pay close attention to the little details. While it’s important to remember the most important things about a woman, it’s especially sweet when a guy remembers the little details. One woman for example told me that she told a guy that she likes white chocolate and so on their next date he brought her white chocolate. How romantic!

Are able to admit that you don’t know something. You don’t have to be a know-it-all to win her heart. In fact, you don’t want to come off as arrogant. It doesn’t make you less of a man to admit that you don’t know something. On the contrary, humility is a very attractive trait.

Text her/call her a lot. But don’t overdo it. Perhaps, a couple of texts throughout the day or even one call a day. This will make her feel that you are thinking about her a lot and that you two are getting closer. Make sure you call her several times throughout the week, as speaking on the phone is more meaningful than texting.

Are direct. Being direct tells a woman that you are transparent, which is very important in a caring and trusting relationship. If there is a problem in the relationship, you want there to be a safe space for your partner to bring it up to you.

Are yourself. Be honest and don’t be afraid to show your true colors.

Are generous. You don’t have to go over the top but there is nothing wrong with spending your money on a woman you really care about!

Are a gentleman. Only some women really appreciate romantic gestures but all want to feel special and loved. So make an effort to make her feel that way. Bring her flowers and/or chocolate, open the door for her, etc. Little things go a long way…

Are flirtatious. Chemistry is very important. Good conversation is not enough. Flirt with her and make her feel beautiful and desired. Show her that you want to be more than just friends…

Are spontaneous. A good way to get a woman’s attention is by being spontaneous. In the beginning when you are dating a woman consider doing something spontaneous. Find out what activities she likes and see if you can come up with a cool date. For example, instead of the standard coffee or drinks, maybe go bowling or to a dance class.

 Women hate it when you…

Play games. If you like her, tell her. Simple as that. It’s cruel to keep her guessing with your mixed messages. Calling a woman all the time, joking with her constantly and spending a lot of time alone with her, is the behavior of a guy who is interested in her. So don’t tell her you just want to be friends when you do all those things. It’s unfair to mislead someone and it’s hurtful. While it’s possible for a man and a woman to be friends, there is a pretty clear line that must not be crossed. One of the women I interviewed told me about this guy who does all the above mentioned things to her and even wrote a song about a girl that seemed to be her and sent it to her. Yet, he said that the song isn’t about her. In the meantime, this woman has feelings for this guy and he keeps on doing things that make her hope that something more than a friendship can develop.

Are not direct. Again, talk about what kind of relationship you are looking for. That is, don’t tell her that you want a serious relationship, when all you really want is to sleep with her. Tell her what you expect from her and ask her what she expects from you. Also, don’t spring important information on her well into the relationship. For example, if you have children let her know right away.  Basically, if you like her tell her, if you don’t, tell her too (or at least if she seems to be getting the wrong message). If you just want to be friends with her tell her.

Are not yourself. Be honest with the woman you are dating right from the get-go. Don’t embellish things about yourself such as how much money you make, how fit you are, etc. Honesty is the best policy. If you lie, it’ll catch up with you sooner or later. Also, you deserve to be with a woman who accepts you for who you are and she deserves the same. Further, don’t pretend to be somebody you aren’t, by either lying that you love what she loves, or telling a woman what you think she wants to hear, just to get another date with her or just to sleep with her.

Talk about yourself too much. Remember, communication involves more than one person talking. Show her that you are interested in her by showing eagerness (not too much too soon, though) to get to know her.

Talk about other women. It’s okay to talk about your female family members but don’t talk about them or other women obsessively. Doing this might make a woman feel less worthy and self-conscious. Focus all of your attention on the woman you are with.

Are clingy/possessive. Don’t text her too much, as to not overwhelm her or look desperate, which is unattractive. Show her that you are not her entire world, although an important part of it. That is, don’t ask her to hang out all the time. It is also important that you let her hang out with her friends and do things without you. In a healthy relationship, you need to give your partner space and it’s important that each partner has an identity outside of the relationship.

Stop calling them and texting them after the first few days or weeks, only to hear from you again later. Be consistent-call and text her on an ongoing basis (within reason, as to not be too clingy/possessive). Also, don’t make her wait FOREVER for your text after a date went well. After a date, you have two days to text her. Best thing is to text her/call her the same day that you went on a date and tell her how much you enjoyed her company, and that you would like to see her again soon, if that is the case. And make sure to follow through. If you are not interested, let her know or completely stop contacting her but don’t text her every couple of weeks.

So, men (and women) what do you think?

Thanks to the following women for their participation in this article (their initials): AR, BC, CM, DD, EC, EG, HD, JG, SH, VL, ZG